Fresh Confidence Building Interview Preparation Guide

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★ Be comfortable with fear
★ Be patient with yourself
★ Strive for balance
★ Stop comparing yourself to others
★ Recognize your insecurities
★ Bounce back from your mistakes
★ Avoid perfectionism
★ Practice gratitude

Often at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional validation, material items, good luck, or money. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and dissatisfied. Finding the inner peace that accompanies true gratitude will do wonders for your confidence. Take some time to sit and think about all of the things you have going for you, from your wonderful friends to your health.

Perfectionism paralyzes you and keeps you from accomplishing your goals. If you feel like everything has to be done perfectly, then you'll never be truly happy with yourself or your circumstances. Instead, work on learning to be proud of a job well done instead of wanting everything to be absolutely perfect. If you're in the mindset of a perfectionist, then you'll only be getting in the way of a more confident version of yourself.

Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road. And that often these insecure feelings come and go, depending on where we are, who we are with, the mood we're in, or how we are feeling. In other words, they are not constant. If you've made a mistake, the best thing you can do is to recognize it, apologize, and make a game plan for avoiding it in the future.

Don't let one wrong turn make you think you don't have what it takes to achieve your dreams. Maybe you weren't a great boyfriend and your last relationship ended in failure. This doesn't mean you're not capable of turning your act around and finding love in the future.

What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you uncomfortable or ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, friends at school, or a past traumatic or negative experience. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down. You can then tear or burn these written pieces to start feeling positive on those points.

This exercise isn't meant to bring you down. It's meant to make you aware of the problems you're dealing with, and empower you to move past them.

★ You may lack confidence because you're convinced that everyone else has it better than you do. However, at the end of the day, it only matters if you're happy by your own standards. If you have no idea what those are, then it's time to do some soul searching before you move forward.
★ Additionally, studies have found that spending time on social media often encourages people to compare themselves with others. Because people tend to post only their triumphs and not their realities of daily life, it can seem as though the flives of others are more wonderful than your own. This is likely not true! Everyone has ups and downs in their lives.

If you want to build your self-confidence, then you have to focus on improving your own life for the better, not on making your life more like your best friend's, your older brother's, or like those of the celebrities you see on television. If you want to build up your confidence, then you need to know that there will always be someone who is prettier, smarter, and richer than you, just like there will always be someone who is less attractive, less intelligent, and less wealthy than you are; all of this is irrelevant, and what is relevant is caring about advancing your own goals and dreams.

Like everything else in life, building self-confidence is about maintaining balance. Too little self-confidence can keep you from achieving your goals and feeling good about yourself. People with too much self-confidence often face the same problem because they underestimate the time and effort needed to achieve their goals.

Sometimes you go backwards to go forwards. Gaining self-confidence does not happen overnight. You might try something new and not meet your goal. If possible, see what lessons are there. Not meeting your goal the first time around is an opportunity to learn more about yourself. Self-confidence needs to be nurtured and grown, a bit at a time.

When you do feel fear, acknowledge the feeling, then ask yourself whether you want that fear to stand in the way of your goal. As you become more confident, you will begin to feel less paralyzed by fear.

★ Take it to heart and respond positively. (Saying "thank you" and smiling works well). Let the person giving the compliment know that you really appreciate it, and work to reach the point where you are able to truly accept the compliment at heart.
★ You can add the compliment to your list of positive attributes about yourself and use it to bolster your self-confidence.

Many people with low self-esteem have difficulty taking compliments; they assume that the person complimenting them is either mistaken or lying. If you find yourself responding to a compliment by rolling your eyes, saying, "Yeah, right," or shrugging it off, you should re-frame your response to compliments.

Not only should you feel proud of your talents or your skills, but you should also think about the things that make your personality great. It can be your sense of humor, your sense of compassion, your listening skills, or your ability to cope under stress. You may not think that there's anything about your personality worth admiring, but if you dig deep, you'll realize that you have plenty of admirable qualities. Focus on them by writing them down.

★ Adding a variety of interests or hobbies to your life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends as well.
★ When you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence.

Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, and then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, or dance. Find something you enjoy and cultivate a talent to go with your interest.

Take the time to sit down and think about all of the things that are bringing you down, from mean friends, a career you don't much care for, or a living situation that is almost unbearable.

Avoid spending time around things that can make you feel bad about yourself again. These might be reminders from the past, clothing that no longer fits, or places that don't fit with your new goals of gaining confidence. Though you may not be able to get rid of every negative source in your life, you can certainly think about how to cut your losses. This will go a long way in building your self-confidence up.

Connect with those close to you, whether they are family or friends, to keep your perspective uplifted. Furthermore, stay away from people or things that make you feel bad.
★ Someone you call a friend may actually make you feel bad, if they constantly make negative remarks, or criticize you.
★ Even well-intended family members who weigh in with their opinions about what you "should" be doing can be destructive to your self-confidence.
★ As you cultivate your own positive attitude and take steps to achieve your goals these naysayers may become more evident. As much as possible, limit your contact with them while you build your self-confidence.
★ Take some time to think about which people in your life really make you feel great. Make a goal to spend more time with people who are supportive and uplifting.

Eventually, your positive thoughts should be given more "brain space" than your negative thoughts. The more you counter your negative self-thinking with positivity, the more natural this will become.

Try to change your negative thoughts into a corresponding positive thought by "twisting" the way that you are thinking. For example, change "I feel fat" to "I have awesome curves and I'm taking steps to live a healthier lifestyle."

As you pay attention to your negative thoughts, turn them around to positive thoughts. This may take the form of positive affirmations, such as "I am going to try it," "I can be successful if I work at it," or "people will listen to me." Start with just a few positive thoughts a day.

The purpose of identifying your negative thoughts is not to dwell on them; it is to become more self-aware so that you can begin to think more positively about yourself.

Your negative thoughts might sound like this: "I can't do that," "I will surely fail", "no one wants to hear what I have to say." This inner voice is pessimistic and unhelpful and will hold you back from achieving high self-esteem and greater self-confidence.